So… What Did Matt Bonner Eat Before Tip-Off?

It’s fairly obvious why Matt Bonner is one of the coolest guys in the NBA. In case you’re not sure why, here’s a rundown:

1. He’s a man about his sandwich.
   
   

   (via The Basketball Jones)

   A man is nothing without his soulmate. A man must treat his soulmate with dignity, respect, and love. Following that line of reasoning, it’s pretty obvious that a man must treat his sandwich like he treats his soulmate. Bonner reveres the sandwich. Being a big fan of them myself, I can respect a man who knows what he likes, and knows what he doesn’t like in a sandwich. Because finding the perfect sandwich and finding a soulmate aren’t so different. It’s all about finding the right proportion of comfort, security, fun, and crazy. There’s a sandwich out there for all of us. One that we wouldn’t mind growing old with. Bonner is lucky enough to have found his soulmate, but he hasn’t yet found his sandwich. I wish him well on his journey.

2. He shoots a basketball like a soldier shoots a rocket launcher.
   
   

   …This should come as no surprise; his nickname is “Red Rocket.” Shooting a ball like a rocket might not sound like a plus for most fans, but I personally love players with unorthodox shooting strokes. Of course, shots like Shawn Marion’s will always mislead observers. Marion’s form is super compact and “flicky”, which can lead to unexpected results when combined with Marion’s weird body contortion. Really, he’s an anomaly. Bonner’s form stays incredibly consistent, with the same intense, deliberate follow through, with the lines of his arms lining up, as though an invisible rocket launcher rested on his shoulders. And really, results don’t lie. 7-7 from the 3-point like against the Oklahoma City Thunder. Bonner might as well have shot rockets at the opponent. Each one of his made field goals completely decimated the confidence of a still-young Thunder team with no concept of easy basketball.

3. MAX EFFICIENCY.Bonner boasts some ridiculous plus/minus numbers night after night. He’s a career 40% 3-point shooter. When he’s on the floor, he gets things done in hilarious Matt Bonner fashion. He does as he is told, and he knows his limitations. He is the product of his surroundings, and the ultimate disposable weapon. There is no doubt that there are tons of players better than him, but he is that ragged old hooded sweatshirt you’ve worn since high school. He’s that blanket that your babysitter used to tuck you in with. Not to say he’s purely sentimental for the Spurs, but when you have such a perfect fit in terms of style, production, and role, you don’t give it up unless you find something substantially better. And since Bonner is never going to be a 30+ minute star, Bonner’s on-court value might just be irreplaceable. Tee hee.

Seriously, he was lights out against the Thunder. I’ve asked on Twitter a few times, but if anyone knows the kind of sandwich he ate before tip-off, let me know. I’ve always wanted cross off “Eat Like An NBA Player” from my bucket list.